i wish i would not have to live this live. wish i could watch it instead. like television. just watching. not being responsible. and could look away at the most horrible scenes. i ve no problem if they happen, as long as i dont have to undergo them. dont want to feel them. not undergo. not undergo. just sittin there like dump. eatin chiiiiiiips. oh yeah a fastforward and rewind button would be cool as well. leavin’ out when i fuck up. watchin’ the cool scenes again. or if i did not understand everything, until i do. you know, i m lost now. i need a while to understand. sometimes its just too fast and i do not notice everything. yeah. or if it would be like a computer game. i could just start it again. and i would have or know the aim. when and how it finishes. and if i fail i could just start again. and i could load saved sessions. so that i dont have to start from the very beginning. and i could try out funny random stuff without fearing the consequences. running up the walls, committing suicide, you know. it wouldn t be that serious you know. thatd be great! oh how i wish it would be different. i wouldnt cheat, i promise.

No more data. eol.